Welcome Home, Mr. Blackgaard

Focus on the Family: And now, Adventures in Odyssey.
Edwin Blackgaard: I die, Horatio! The potent poison quite o’ercrows my spirit. I cannot live to hear the news from England, but I do prophesy the election lights on Fortinbras. He has my dying voice. So tell him, with the occurrents more or less, which have solicited, the rest is silence. Good people of Pecanberg, this is the last performance of our two-man troupe in your town. So on behalf of the Edwin Blackgaard traveling players, I want to thank you for the use of your high school auditorium stage and for allowing us to bring a little Hamlet to your little hamlet. Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight. Thank you. Farewell. No more, please. Goodnight. And good riddance. Shakespeare, my lemonade!
Shakespeare: Yes sir, here you are.
Edwin Blackgaard: Heavenly nectar. What is the box office tally for this evening?
Shakespeare: There is good news and bad news. The good news is more seats were filled tonight than last night.
Edwin Blackgaard: And the bad news?
Shakespeare: They weren't filled with people.
Edwin Blackgaard: That would explain the clucking sound I heard at the end of Act 3. How many paying customers?
Shakespeare: 19.
Edwin Blackgaard: 19! 19! O fickle, thy name is theater. To think that a man of my talent, my ability, my infinite charm and wit, my brilliance, is reduced to playing a two-person Hamlet at Pecanberg High School for 19 patrons and their livestock.
Shakespeare: On the upside, your performance was stunning.
Edwin Blackgaard: No, there's the rub, Shakespeare. My Hamlet has gone to the dogs. And the odd thing is I don't know why. Something is missing. I know it, and apparently the audience does as well.
Morton Dunkee: Excuse me.
Shakespeare: Yes, can I help you?
Morton Dunkee: I'd like to see Mr. Blackgaard. You are the Edwin Blackgaard, aren't you?
Edwin Blackgaard: Yes, as a matter of fact, I am.
Morton Dunkee: I'm Morton Dunkee, attorney at law.
Edwin Blackgaard: Attorney? A lawyer? If this is about that incident in Hooterville—
Morton Dunkee: I'm not here about an incident in Hooterville, Mr. Blackgaard. I'm a partner in the firm Dunkee, Dunkee, Dunkee, Dunkee and McCormick. Actually, I'm the third Dunkee.
Edwin Blackgaard: Congratulations. I'm so happy for you.
Morton Dunkee: Thank you. We represented your brother, the late Dr. Regis Blackgaard.
Edwin Blackgaard: Alas, poor Regis. I knew him well. What does this have to do with me?
Morton Dunkee: You've been named in his will. You've inherited a piece of property in Odyssey. It's a store called—
Edwin Blackgaard: Give me that! I don't believe it. The Electric Palace! Regis left me the Electric Palace. Even from the grave, he taunts me.
Shakespeare: I thought Bart Rathbone owned the Electric Palace.
Edwin Blackgaard: Yes, Rathbone! What became of him?
Morton Dunkee: Mr. Rathbone borrowed the money from your brother to open the store. He never owned it, per se. Additionally, he and your brother were involved in some sort of scandal in Odyssey. The court sentenced Bart to two years community service and probation. Because of that and your brother's will, he lost the store. It's yours now.
Edwin Blackgaard: Well, that's just ducky, Mr. Dunkee.
Morton Dunkee: It's Dunkee.
Edwin Blackgaard: Whatever. But electronics couldn't interest me less. So why don't you just sell the store?
Morton Dunkee: I'm afraid I can't do that. Your brother's will specifically says that the property is to remain in the family.
Edwin Blackgaard: There must be some way out of this. I don't want the Electric Palace, and I certainly don't want to return to Odyssey.
Morton Dunkee: Of course, that's your choice, Mr. Blackgaard. No one can force you to take the property. However, if you don't, you may be placing your mother in jeopardy.
Edwin Blackgaard: My mother?
Morton Dunkee: I believe she lives in a nursing home, correct?
Edwin Blackgaard: What of it?
Morton Dunkee: Read paragraph 36A in the will, please.
Edwin Blackgaard: I have placed a large sum of money in a trust fund to care for my mother, but in the event that my brother Edwin refuses his inheritance, the trust will be immediately revoked. Revoked?
Morton Dunkee: Revoked. I'm afraid your mother won't be able to stay in the home.
Edwin Blackgaard: I can't take care of her! Look around you. We live on the road.
Morton Dunkee: I'm afraid your options are limited.
Edwin Blackgaard: I'll have to think it over.
Morton Dunkee: Of course. I'm staying at the Pecanberg Motel when you decide. Good evening, gentlemen.
Edwin Blackgaard: Blast you, Regis! Of all the things to leave me, why this? You torture me even now.
Shakespeare: What will you do, sir?
Edwin Blackgaard: I have no choice, Shakespeare. I can't leave poor Mumsy out in the cold. We'll have to go back.
Shakespeare: Is that really such a bad prospect?
Edwin Blackgaard: Of course it is, Shakespeare. Have you forgotten how we left? Under the cover of darkness, cowering out of town with our tails between our legs like stray ducks.
Shakespeare: I think you mean dogs, sir. Cowering out of town like stray dogs.
Edwin Blackgaard: What difference does it make? My behavior was that of a contemptible cur. The good townspeople of Odyssey will never forgive me, nor should they.
Shakespeare: I don't believe you're giving them enough credit. Even so, surely the noble thing to do is return and make peace with them.
Edwin Blackgaard: Yes, you're right, of course. O, what a rogue and peasant slave am I. Pack up the car, Shakespeare. We leave tonight.
John Q. Public: Get him! Get him!
Edwin Blackgaard: No, please!
John Q. Public: He doesn't like fruit? Give him the vegetables!
Edwin Blackgaard: No, please! No more! I beg you. I'm sorry. I'm so very, very sorry.
John Q. Public: Did you hear that, everyone? He's sorry. The name is Public. John Q. Public. I represent these people, people you betrayed.
Edwin Blackgaard: I didn't mean to. At least, I didn't want to.
John Q. Public: The good townspeople of Odyssey will never forgive you. Never! Nor should they. You deserve to be punished! Punished! Since you behaved like a chicken, it's only fitting that you should look like one. Bring out the tar!
Crowd: The tar! The tar! The tar!
John Q. Public: Pour it over him! And now, the feathers!
Crowd: The feathers! The feathers! The feathers!
John Q. Public: Dump them on him! Now, Mr. Chicken, speak!
Edwin Blackgaard: Bawk! Bawk! Bawk! Shakespeare!
Shakespeare: I'm here, sir. Terribly sorry about the horn. I nearly hit a chicken. Are you all right?
Edwin Blackgaard: I had a horrible dream. Shakespeare, I'm not sure I can go through with this.
Shakespeare: I'm afraid you'll have to. We've just arrived in Odyssey. Where to first? The Harlequin Theater?
Edwin Blackgaard: No. Let's go to the Electric Palace.
Shakespeare: So, this is it. Closed until further notice.
Edwin Blackgaard: I'm not sure how to proceed. I've never run a store before.
Shakespeare: It can't be much different from the success you've made with the Harlequin Theater.
Edwin Blackgaard: Diplomatically put, Shakespeare. Still, some help would be nice.
Bart Rathbone: Come on, Doris, help me with this trash can.
Doris Rathbone: Just a second, Bart. I ain't done looking through it yet.
Edwin Blackgaard: Wait. I know those voices. They're coming from the alley. Yes! It's Bart and Doris Rathbone. Bart! Doris! Hello!
Bart Rathbone: Huh? Ah! It's you, Dr. Blackgaard!
Doris Rathbone: Dr. Blackgaard!
Edwin Blackgaard: No, no, no. I'm not Regis. I'm Edwin. Edwin!
Bart Rathbone: Edwin?
Edwin Blackgaard: Yes, you know, the actor.
Bart Rathbone: The actor! Doris, it's only the actor.
Doris Rathbone: We could have sworn you was the other one. You nearly scared us out of our skins.
Bart Rathbone: Yeah. Hey, I thought you had run away.
Edwin Blackgaard: Well, I'm back now. I'm here for the Electric Palace.
Bart Rathbone: My store?
Shakespeare: No, it's Mr. Blackgaard's, actually.
Bart Rathbone: What?
Edwin Blackgaard: My brother deeded it to me in his will. Actually, Bart, I know virtually nothing about operating a retail outlet, and I was hoping that you might be willing to—
Bart Rathbone: I accept!
Edwin Blackgaard: Really?
Bart Rathbone: You had to ask? I love this place!
Edwin Blackgaard: Wonderful. We'll start in the morning.
Doris Rathbone: Come on, Bart. We got more trash to go through. I want to see what's in the cans at the department store.
Bart Rathbone: All right, Doris, get in the truck. Toodles!
Edwin Blackgaard: Bart, before you go, there's something I'd like to ask. What is the general feeling around town about the Blackgaard name?
Bart Rathbone: Are you kidding? At this moment, there is no name lower in Odyssey. Hey, we'll see you tomorrow, huh? Doris, move over. I'm driving!
Edwin Blackgaard: No name lower. Shall we go to the Harlequin now, sir?
Shakespeare: No, Shakespeare. Let's go to Whit's End.
Edwin Blackgaard: Very good, sir. I'll get the car. Don't bother. I might as well do this right. I'm going to Whit's End, and I'm going to walk. You go first.
Shakespeare: Sir, I really don't think you need to duck behind me anymore. No one seems to be taking notice of us. And those who are—
Guest (Male): Good morning.
Guest (Female): Good morning.
Shakespeare: So those who are taking notice of us are very cordial.
Edwin Blackgaard: They're setting me up for the kill, lulling me into a false sense of security. Be prepared to run, Shakespeare, especially if you see tar and feathers.
Shakespeare: Really, sir, I—
Tom Riley: Blackgaard!
Edwin Blackgaard: No! Please, please!
Tom Riley: Edwin Blackgaard, it is you. Tom Riley. It's good to see you again.
Edwin Blackgaard: I can explain, really. It is?
Tom Riley: Yeah. We've missed you around here. When did you get back in town?
Edwin Blackgaard: A few hours ago. We were just on our way to Whit's End.
Tom Riley: Great. Jack would love to see it. Hey, I'm heading that way myself. Come on.
Jack Allen: Here we go. Some nice chocolate shakes for everyone.
Edwin Blackgaard: Thank you.
Jack Allen: Edwin, I'm sorry I'm the only one here to meet you. Jason, Connie, and Eugene had other engagements today.
Edwin Blackgaard: That's quite all right.
Tom Riley: So, you're taking over the Electric Palace. I'll bet Bart isn't too happy about that, huh? Edwin?
Edwin Blackgaard: Actually, he's going to help run the place.
Jack Allen: Edwin, is everything all right?
Edwin Blackgaard: All right? Why do you ask?
Jack Allen: Because you seem kind of distracted and edgy ever since I ran into you.
Edwin Blackgaard: Why shouldn't I be? If you're going to punish me, do it! Why must you persist in this torture?
Jack Allen: Punish? Torture? Come on out, all of you! I know you're hiding in the back rooms! Come out and get it over with!
Shakespeare: Sir, please!
Jack Allen: Calm down, Edwin. I assure you there's no one here but me and the kids. Now, please sit. Have a milkshake. Shakespeare, maybe you should tell us what this is all about.
Shakespeare: Mr. Blackgaard feels sure you're all out to get him because of what happened.
Jack Allen: What happened?
Edwin Blackgaard: I ran away. Scrammed, vamoosed, took it on the lam, retreated in the face of my brother's onslaught. And don't tell me you don't hate me for it, because I know you all do.
Jack Allen: Hate you? Edwin, nothing could be further from the truth. We don't hate you. No one does.
Edwin Blackgaard: But how can you not? I deserted Odyssey when she needed me most.
Jack Allen: Nonsense. I'm sure everyone here understands completely why you left.
Edwin Blackgaard: Yes, I was a coward.
Tom Riley: I don't know anybody who thinks that. No, of course not. You obviously did what you thought was the right thing to do.
Edwin Blackgaard: You're both very kind. I just feel so awful about the whole thing. Like I need to do something cleansing, redemptive, to somehow make it up to Odyssey.
Jack Allen: There's really no need, Edwin. The best thing you can do, both for Odyssey and yourself, is to reopen the Harlequin Theater.
Tom Riley: Yeah, and the Electric Palace. This town needs places like them. Just don't run it like Bart did, all for profit but not really caring about the customer.
Jack Allen: Right. Go and make it a wonderful store.
Edwin Blackgaard: Gentlemen, I thank you. You have given me much food for thought. Come, Shakespeare, we must be off.
Jack Allen: Goodbye then, and you come back soon.
Tom Riley: Yeah, and I'll be looking forward to coming into your store. Farewell! Farewell!
Shakespeare: Are we going to the Harlequin now, sir?
Edwin Blackgaard: No, not yet. I want you to find Bart Rathbone and tell him to meet me at the Electric Palace. Jack and Tom have given me a wonderful idea.
Bart Rathbone: Are you nuts, Blackgaard? You want to give away all my merchandise?
Edwin Blackgaard: Ah, you forget, Bart. It isn't your merchandise. It's mine. And I will do whatever I must to clear my conscience.
Bart Rathbone: Hey, making money is a great way to clear your conscience. Trust me.
Edwin Blackgaard: But making money won't get the people of Odyssey back on my side again. This will.
Bart Rathbone: You just can't just give it all away.
Edwin Blackgaard: My mind is made up.
Bart Rathbone: But—
Edwin Blackgaard: No buts. No buts. Now, I want you to take this flyer to the stationer's, have a thousand copies made, then we'll distribute them all over town. Go on now.
Bart Rathbone: But—
Edwin Blackgaard: Go, go, go! Well, Shakespeare, what do you think?
Shakespeare: Actually, I'm a bit mystified, sir.
Edwin Blackgaard: Mystified? Whatever about?
Shakespeare: You say you want to do this to cleanse your conscience.
Edwin Blackgaard: Yes.
Shakespeare: Now, don't take this the wrong way, sir, but I didn't think you had a conscience.
Edwin Blackgaard: Neither did I. Imagine my surprise.
Shakespeare: Why do you think you can buy the people's affections, especially when they don't seem to resent you for anything?
Edwin Blackgaard: There's the key. They don't seem to resent me. You see, Shakespeare, as an actor, I am a student of human nature, especially my own. And my nature tells me that deep down inside, they really do resent me. After all, if I were them and I did what I did to me, I wouldn't forgive me for doing what I did, would you?
Shakespeare: I'm not sure.
Edwin Blackgaard: The point is, Shakespeare, the public mind is fickle. Their affections can be bought, and that is exactly what I intend to do. Let's just take it all. Everything must go! At Edwin Blackgaard's giveaway, no one goes home empty-handed. Last time I saw a room this empty was my last production at the Harlequin, actually.
Jack Allen: Edwin.
Edwin Blackgaard: Oh, there's nothing else left, so just— Oh, Jack.
Jack Allen: Where's Shakespeare?
Edwin Blackgaard: He went back to the theater. Either that or a customer took him. I've often thought he'd make a good lawn ornament. Well, it looks like you've accomplished your goal.
Jack Allen: Yes, I suppose I have.
Edwin Blackgaard: What's wrong? You don't sound very happy. Actually, I'm not, now that you mention it.
Jack Allen: But I thought that was the whole idea. Giving everything away to cleanse your conscience.
Edwin Blackgaard: It was.
Jack Allen: So, did it?
Edwin Blackgaard: No. No, it didn't. I don't feel any better than when I first arrived. All I wanted was to get back into the people's good graces and have them forgive me.
Jack Allen: We've been trying to tell you all along, Edwin. You were never out of the people's good graces. Besides, isn't it rather foolish to think you can buy their affection?
Edwin Blackgaard: Yes, I suppose it is.
Jack Allen: As far as forgiveness is concerned, I don't think it's the town's you're after at all.
Edwin Blackgaard: Then whose?
Jack Allen: Well, let me put it in terms you're more familiar with. What was Hamlet's motivation? Why did he do the things he did?
Edwin Blackgaard: Revenge. His mother and uncle killed his father.
Jack Allen: Is that it? Come on, Hamlet is a deeper character than that. Think about it. What does he say to Horatio when talking about his father's funeral?
Edwin Blackgaard: Would I had met my dearest foe in heaven ere I had seen that day. You know Hamlet?
Jack Allen: I read it before I came over. What else does he feel?
Edwin Blackgaard: Sadness, depression, guilt.
Jack Allen: Guilt. And why does he feel guilt?
Edwin Blackgaard: Because he didn't prevent his father's death.
Jack Allen: Could he have prevented it?
Edwin Blackgaard: Well, no.
Jack Allen: No. But as a result, his uncle, his mother, his fiancée, her brother, her father, and ultimately Hamlet himself ended up dead. All because in part he felt guilty about something over which he had no control. Just like you feel guilty about something over which you had no control, Edwin. Even if you had stayed, you couldn't have stopped your brother. You see, the heart of your problem isn't that the townspeople of Odyssey won't forgive you for what you did. It's that you won't forgive yourself. And while you haven't destroyed an entire kingdom like Hamlet, you have managed to destroy an entire store because of it.
Edwin Blackgaard: Good heavens! Good heavens! Not only are you absolutely right, you've given me an entirely new motivation for Hamlet. Well, I'm glad to be of service. But look at this place. I've really made a mess of things, haven't I?
Jack Allen: Yes. But I've just the thing to take your mind off it. That's why I came over, to invite you to our welcome home party at Whit's End tomorrow night.
Edwin Blackgaard: Why, thank you, Jack. I'd be honored to attend. And thank you for everything else as well.
Jack Allen: My pleasure. And now, O Prince, I take my leave with nary pain or sorrow.
Edwin Blackgaard: Aha! And to you, good friend, I bid adieu, at least until tomorrow!
Guest (Male): Hi, Mr. Blackgaard. Glad you're back with us.
Edwin Blackgaard: Why, thank you. Thank you all! This is really very nice of you and Jack, Tom.
Jack Allen: We know. We do have a surprise for you, Edwin, if you'll step this way.
Edwin Blackgaard: A surprise for me?
Jack Allen: It's just on the other side of this door. Go ahead. Open her up.
Edwin Blackgaard: Shakespeare, your my surprise?
Shakespeare: Oh no, sir. I'm just here to turn on the lights.
Edwin Blackgaard: This is your surprise. It's the merchandise from the Electric Palace! Well, most of it. What is it doing here?
Jack Allen: We're giving it back to you.
Edwin Blackgaard: Giving it back? But how?
Jack Allen: Unlike Hamlet, your friends in Odyssey are very much alive and well. Jack and I called up a few folks we know and they went door to door collecting the stuff. When everyone realized why you gave everything away, they knew they couldn't keep it. So nearly everyone gave it back.
Bart Rathbone: It ain't fair, I tell you. First I have the stuff, then I don't, then I have it again, and now I don't again.
Tom Riley: We actually found most of the merchandise over at the Rathbone house.
Bart Rathbone: Well, you can't blame us for trying.
Edwin Blackgaard: I'm speechless. I never expected to drink so deeply of the milk of human kindness. This token, this powerful symbol of acceptance and forgiveness, will ne'er be forgotten.
Bart Rathbone: I thought you said you were speechless.
Edwin Blackgaard: Jack, Tom, Bart, Doris, even you, faithful Shakespeare. Allow me to show you my gratitude in the best way I know how.
Bart Rathbone: By giving us the stuff back?
Edwin Blackgaard: No! By performing my special one-man presentation of Hamlet, the Prince of Denmark.
Tom Riley: Well, sure. We'd love to see that sometime.
Edwin Blackgaard: Not sometime, dear friend. Now! To be, or not to be: that is the question: whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.
Focus on the Family: Welcome home, Edwin. It's good to have you back. In Matthew 6, verses 14 and 15, Jesus says, "If you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your heavenly Father forgive your trespasses." The people of Odyssey knew this, which is why they forgave Edwin. But what Edwin didn't understand is that an important part of God's forgiveness is the ability he grants us to forgive ourselves. See, when God forgives us, our sins are gone in his eyes. If we don't forgive ourselves, it's sort of like saying that God's forgiveness doesn't matter, only ours does. We need to learn to forgive ourselves the way God forgives us. Well, that's all for this time. If you ever want to write to us, the address is Adventures in Odyssey, Colorado Springs, Colorado, 80995. Or in Canada, write to Box 9800, Vancouver, BC, V6B 4G3. And when you do, ask about how you can get your own copy of today's episode. It's called "Welcome Home, Mr. Blackgaard". Adventures in Odyssey is a presentation of Focus on the Family. Welcome Home, Mr. Blackgaard was written and directed by Phil Lollar. Our production engineer was Dave Arnold, and our executive producer was Chuck Bolte. And I'm Chris, hoping you'll join us next time for more Adventures in Odyssey.