The Owlnapping

Chris: Hi, this is Chris. Welcome to Odyssey. We're just getting ready for a time of wonder, excitement, and discovery. So why don't you get the whole family together and join us for another exciting adventure in Odyssey?
Murray: Vance?
Vance: That depends. You Murray?
Murray: Yeah.
Vance: You're late.
Murray: Took me 10 minutes to find this place. What's with you wanting to meet in an alley?
Vance: I like it when my clients only have one escape route.
Murray: Clients? Escape route? Yeah, the guys on the team told me you were a little intense.
Vance: You've no idea. This is about money. I'm always intense about money. What do you want?
Murray: We want to make sure the Owls lose their next three games. If they do, our team will win the conference title.
Vance: Three games, huh? That's going to cost you extra.
Murray: I got the money. Here's half. You'll get the rest when they've lost those games.
Vance: Let me count it here. All right, yeah, that's fine.
Murray: Now tell me how you're going to make them lose.
Vance: Oh, I never discuss my methods with a client.
Murray: Well, you better start discussing something. I can't go back and tell them I paid you and didn't get some information.
Vance: Oh, look at you. Well, you want information? Tell them to watch the owl.
Murray: Watch the owl? That's it? Not "watch for the itching powder I put in their shorts before the game" or "watch our best player get handcuffed to a fire hydrant in Albuquerque"?
Vance: Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's amateur stuff. I'm dealing in advanced psychology. Watch the owl. That's right. Prepare to be amazed.
Coach Fey: Listen to me, team. To shoot the ball through the hoop, you must be shot through the hoop yourself. Be the ball. Be the hoop. Be the scoreboard increasing by two after you shoot yourself through yourself. Are you with me? Are you with me? Can you imagine yourself victorious tonight? Keep that image in your heads. Even if we lose, you can see yourself as the true victors you are in the game of life or basketball. Yes, that's right. All right. Where's our mascot? Who's got the owl? Pete?
Pete: Brad went for it.
Coach Fey: Well, what's taking him so long?
Brad: Pete, listen, guys, the owl, it's gone. It's not in the case. It's not in the locker room. I've looked everywhere.
Pete: Gone? Oh, this is bad. That owl has been at every Odyssey game for the past 50 years. Odyssey has never won without rubbing it on the head before playing.
Coach Fey: Wait, wait, everyone. All right. You can be your own mascot. Rub your own heads. It's not a big deal.
Ryan: Ryan's right. It's not a big deal. I'm wearing the socks.
Coach Fey: The what?
Ryan: The socks, the same socks I've worn during all of our other games and every time we won. I haven't even washed them.
Brad: Yeah, and I've got the lucky penny in the toe of my shoe.
Coach Fey: You're what? Okay, never mind. That's great. I'm sure the lucky penny and the petrified socks will make all the difference. All right, team, you are winners, no matter what happens on the court. Right? All right, let's get them! Do not despair, my team. Losing 78 to 72 is nothing to be ashamed of. Pure victory is the most elusive prize of all, like shooting stars or photographic evidence of Bigfoot. I will leave you with that. Practice tomorrow, 3:30.
Ryan: Brad, can you just throw me a towel, please? That was ridiculous. We played like a nursery school soccer team.
Brad: We were just off our game. It happens. We'll do better next time.
Ryan: It happens? Are you nuts, Brad? We were off our game if we lost to a better team, and Waynestown isn't.
Brad: No, it's not.
Ryan: You know why we lost?
Brad: Why? Because the coach kept me on the bench the whole game?
Ryan: No, because we had 24 turnovers. 24! We've never had that many. And 12 missed free throws? Guys, we weren't focused out there. We were sloppy.
Pete: I blame myself. There is one good thing that came out of this loss.
Ryan: What?
Pete: Now I can change my socks.
Ryan: Okay, I don't get it. How does a fake owl just disappear from a display case? Nobody knows what happened to it. Principal Vogler is ready to call in the FBI.
Pete: Look, I don't care about that mangy owl. I'm more worried about our game. Hang on, Pete. I've got to get my math book. Math book... math book... ah.
Pete: You dropped a piece of paper.
Ryan: What?
Pete: This fell out when you opened your locker. Here. Are you getting love notes?
Ryan: No. "I have the owl. Bring me 40 crisp $1 bills or you will never see it again."
Pete: A ransom note? This is ridiculous. I don't even want the owl. You know, if the whole team chips in, that's only about four bucks a person.
Ryan: Not a chance. I'm not giving in to extortionists. Forget about it. The point is, we have to focus on our game.
Pete: Right. Though $40 isn't a lot of money.
Ryan: Oh, stop it, Pete. We're not giving in to the owlnappers, no matter what happens.
Ryan: I can't believe we lost to Odeltown. This is their home court, but we beat them by 40 last year.
Pete: They're all shorter than us. It's like losing to the national team of Lilliput.
Ryan: Are we scheduled to play them?
Pete: It's a literary reference, Pete. Gulliver's Travels?
Ryan: If he travels, the rest should blow the whistle.
Pete: Oh, never mind. We didn't want to win the game enough. That's all.
Ryan: I don't think that's it.
Pete: Well, then what is it? And if you bring up that missing owl...
Ryan: Never mind. You're right. We didn't want it enough.
Ryan: What time is practice?
Pete: 4:30.
Ryan: Ah, good. Just enough time to run home and get a bite to eat. Okay, see you then.
Coach Fey: Ryan? Pete?
Pete: Yeah, coach?
Coach Fey: We got some bad news today. Tony was injured.
Ryan: What? No!
Coach Fey: Yeah, he pulled a hamstring playing flag football in gym. He's out for tomorrow's game against Connorsville. Pete, you should be ready to step in.
Pete: You mean I might play?
Coach Fey: Very likely, unless you prefer sitting on the bench.
Pete: No, I'm in!
Coach Fey: That makes our practice today all the more important. I'll see you there early.
Pete: I'll be there.
Ryan: I can't believe this.
Pete: No.
Ryan: He's our best point guard. Why does this have to happen right before the Connorsville game?
Pete: That's what we all want to know.
Ryan: Well, what do you mean?
Pete: Ryan, we've lost twice to teams we should have beaten. Now we've lost our starting point guard for the biggest game of the year.
Ryan: Oh, no. Don't say it.
Pete: We need the owl.
Ryan: Oh, come on. That's silly superstition. What is that? Your locker is ringing. That doesn't make any sense. I don't have a cell phone.
Pete: Look at the screen. See who's calling.
Ryan: Um, it says unknown number.
Pete: Answer it.
Ryan: Hello?
Vance: Hi. This is your last chance to get the owl before the big game. Bring the money to the dumpster behind the library at 4:30 today.
Ryan: Not a chance. And thanks for the cell phone.
Vance: Hold on to it. You'll need it. And come alone.
Ryan: But who are—
Pete: It's him?
Ryan: Yeah.
Pete: He gave you instructions?
Ryan: Doesn't matter. I'm not going.
Pete: What were the instructions?
Ryan: Take the money to the dumpster behind the library at 4:30.
Pete: That's easy. I'll do it.
Ryan: Not a chance. Besides, it's during practice.
Pete: I'll be a little late.
Ryan: You heard the coach. You're playing for Tony tomorrow night. We're going to need you to win.
Pete: We need more than me to win, Ryan. We need that owl.
Ryan: Oh, I give up. Take the phone and do whatever you want.
Pete: Anybody around? It's 4:30. I'm here.
Vance: Do you have the money?
Pete: Yeah. Do you have the owl?
Vance: Do I have the owl? Just put the money on the ground under the dumpster.
Pete: Okay. Done. Where's the owl?
Vance: Forget it. The deal's off.
Pete: What? Why?
Vance: Because you didn't follow the rules.
Pete: What rules?
Vance: I told you to come alone.
Pete: What are you talking about? I am alone.
Vance: Look behind you.
Pete: What—who's there? Come out now!
Brad: Did you make the exchange?
Pete: Brad! What are you doing here?
Brad: Oh, it's not just me. Hey, what's up, Pete? Hey, what's up? How's it going? Where's the owlnapper?
Pete: What are you guys doing here?
Brad: We figured we could jump the guy after the exchange was made. Yeah!
Pete: You brought the entire basketball team?
Brad: Well, everybody but Ryan.
Coach Fey: This is bad, Ryan. When I told the team to be like birds, I didn't expect them to fly the coop. Where is everyone?
Ryan: I think I know. I'll take care of it, coach.
Coach Fey: Well, there's no point wasting our time. Let's work on our triangle offense, which is much like the life cycle of the monarch butterfly. Right. You are a caterpillar. You are a pupa. You are the butterfly. Okay. Now let's try it.
Ryan: We're doomed, Mr. Whittaker. Doomed, doomed, doomed.
Mr. Whittaker: I think rah-rah-rah is the usual cheer.
Ryan: I'm being realistic. There's no way we can beat Connorsville now.
Pete: Hey, Mr. Whittaker.
Mr. Whittaker: Hi, Ryan.
Ryan: Hey, Ryan. So, I guess you boneheads skipped practice to get that owl back?
Pete: Yeah, and now we never will.
Ryan: No, not true. I've got a surprise for you.
Pete: What?
Ryan: Let's see. Tada!
Pete: What is it?
Ryan: A stuffed owl.
Pete: That isn't our stuffed owl.
Ryan: I know, but it's an owl. We can start a new tradition. Who says it has to be the same one?
Pete: That doesn't even look like our mascot. It's not even realistic.
Ryan: Neither was the old one. It was purple, for crying out loud.
Pete: Does it even talk?
Ryan: Yes, listen.
Guest (Owl Toy): Owly! Owly! Owly! Owly!
Pete: Give me a break. That's not going to inspire us to win.
Ryan: Why not? You said we needed something to rally around, so—
Pete: That's right. The real owl, not a cheap substitute. See you at the slaughter later.
Ryan: Bye. What can I do, Mr. Whittaker? I don't want to give in to the owlnapper or the team's superstition.
Mr. Whittaker: Well, it's tough to pick morale back up once it slips this far. It's like the child who can't sleep without her favorite doll. Parents know better, but they'll still turn the house upside down to find it.
Ryan: Now I'm afraid we won't beat Connorsville if I don't get that owl back.
Mr. Whittaker: Losing to Connorsville isn't the worst thing that's ever happened.
Ryan: It is to me. This is my year as the team captain, Mr. Whittaker. I don't want my legacy to be a bunch of losses because of a kidnapped owl.
Mr. Whittaker: What about Principal Vogler or Coach Fey?
Ryan: No, they don't understand what it's doing to the team. We're running out of time.
Mr. Whittaker: Well, I'm sorry, Ryan. I don't know what to suggest. I guess the question is: how far are you willing to go to help your team win?
Ryan: That's what I have to decide.
Pete: Hey, Ryan. Have you heard from the kidnapper yet?
Ryan: You're the one who has his cell phone.
Pete: It hasn't rung, except for some guy who wanted to order pizza, which is what I wish I had now. This sandwich looks like paper.
Ryan: It is paper. Lift the bread.
Pete: Gross! Somebody put a picture in your sandwich?
Ryan: It's the owl, with one wing missing. How did he put a picture in your sandwich? Our owlnapper is someone at this school. There's a note on the back. It says: "Tonight, the sidewalk in front of Finneman's Market. Ryan alone. Bring the phone." Me? No way. I'm going to talk to the principal. Somebody on the cafeteria staff has to be in on this.
Pete: "Talk to no one or the owl is gone forever. 6:00 sharp."
Ryan: 6:00? But the game is at 6:30.
Pete: You have to do it, Ryan. It's Connorsville. We need this game or we're done for the year. Is that what you want?
Ryan: No, but... give me the phone.
Pete: You'll do it?
Ryan: What choice do I have?
Guest (Male): Thank you for coming, and have a safe drive home.
Ryan: 6:10. Right in here. Come on out. Oh, finally. Hey, can we make this quick? I have a game in 20 minutes.
Vance: Oh, listen to you dictating the terms of this negotiation. Well, if you want to make it quick, you better hurry. You've wasted my time, so I'm going to waste some of yours. There's an old wooden scooter leaning against the lamppost next to you. See it?
Ryan: Um, yeah.
Vance: Now get on it.
Ryan: What? Why?
Vance: Just do what I say.
Ryan: All right. Okay, I'm on the scooter.
Vance: Now ride down to Hal's Diner.
Ryan: Oh, okay.
Vance: Be quick about it.
Coach Fey: Remember, a layup drill is like the mighty salmon laying its eggs. Pete!
Pete: Yeah, coach?
Coach Fey: Where is Ryan?
Pete: He'll be here soon, coach.
Coach Fey: He better be.
Ryan: All right, I'm at Hal's Diner. Where are you?
Vance: Go inside Hal's Diner.
Ryan: You're in Hal's Diner?
Vance: Just go. Okay, I'm in. Where are you? Go up to the customer at the end of the counter, and without talking to him, eat a spoonful of his soup.
Ryan: You've got to be kidding. I'm not doing that.
Vance: Oh, really? Because I have someone here with me who would like to ask you to reconsider.
Ryan: What? Who?
Guest (Owl Recording): Owly! Owly! Let's go, Odyssey!
Ryan: Okay, okay. I'll do it. Hey, what are you doing with my spoon? Hey! Hey, are you crazy? That's my soup! I'm really sorry, sir. I've got to go. Good soup, though. Good choice. Done.
Vance: Nicely done. Now, head to the movie theater and go see Princess Baba and the Squishy Goo-Goo Pies.
Ryan: Anything but that.
Vance: Do it.
Coach Fey: I need to finalize our strategy for the game. Where is Ryan?
Pete: He'll be here, coach. Don't worry.
Ryan: Hi, which theater is Princess Baba showing in?
Guest (Male): That would be theater two, right through that door.
Ryan: Thanks.
Guest (Male): Uh, ticket?
Ryan: I'm not staying. I actually think I left my owl in there.
Guest (Male): What?
Ryan: I've got to go. What now?
Vance: All right, walk to the very front row and shout loudly: "Princess Baba is really the twin of Prince Jesup."
Ryan: I can't do that. That'll ruin the movie for everyone.
Vance: I know. How do you know that? Oh, yeah, never mind. Just hurry.
Ryan: Princess Baba is the twin of Prince Jesup!
Guest (Female): That wasn't very nice!
Guest (Male): Get off your cell phone! Get out of here!
Vance: Well done. Now I want you to head to the barbershop.
Ryan: I have to get to the game now.
Vance: After the barbershop.
Guest (Male): 51 to 50 for Connorsville with six minutes left.
Brad: Where's Ryan?
Pete: I don't know.
Ryan: Excuse me.
Guest (Male): Hello, young fellow. Need a haircut?
Ryan: Yeah, I'm supposed to tell you to cut it in the "owl style".
Guest (Male): Ah, you're the one. Okay, sit down.
Ryan: Wait a minute. By the way, what is the "owl style"?
Guest (Male): It's a single stripe down the center of your hair. I don't know where you kids get these ideas.
Ryan: Oh, cut away.
Coach Fey: All right, we cannot wait for our captain any longer. It's time to get out there and play.
Pete: We can't! We can't do it without Ryan! Please, coach!
Coach Fey: No, we're in danger of forfeiting. Let's get out there.
Ryan: I'm here! I've got it!
Coach Fey: Ryan?
Ryan: Wait, coach. It's the owl.
Coach Fey: So it is.
Pete: How did you get it? And what's with your hair?
Ryan: Forget that. Just push the button and rub its head. Hurry!
Coach Fey: We'll do it, coach! Do it! All right, here goes.
Guest (Owl Recording): Owly! Owly! Let's go, Odyssey! Owly! Owly!
Pete: Well, good enough for me!
Brad: Yeah, me too!
Coach Fey: Now come on, you guys! Let's win! All right, be the ball, be the owl, be the ball!
Guest (Male): The final score: Connorsville 53, Odyssey 52.
Pete: Another loss? We had the owl! This was the big one, guys. I don't understand. We rubbed its head and everything.
Coach Fey: Good game, boys. We'll talk about this at our last meeting tomorrow.
Ryan: Sorry, guys. I blew it.
Pete: We all blew it.
Mr. Whittaker: So, what can I do for you boys? Ice cream has been known to take away some of the sting, if not the pain. Tell you what, it'll be my treat.
Pete: No, thanks.
Ryan: I'm not hungry either, Mr. Whittaker.
Pete: Well, I understand. I don't get it. We got the owl back in time. It should have made a difference. Right?
Ryan: Oh, it made a difference. All that running around threw me off my game and got me in trouble with the coach. It wasn't supposed to end like that.
Mr. Whittaker: I think you guys are looking at this from the wrong direction.
Pete: What do you mean?
Mr. Whittaker: Well, let me start with a few statistics from the Odyssey middle school basketball records.
Pete: Okay.
Mr. Whittaker: In the time since the team adopted the "pat the owl on the head before the game" tradition, the team has lost almost as many games as it won.
Pete: Really?
Mr. Whittaker: Some years they had more wins, some years they had more losses. So it'd be easy to conclude the owl didn't really impact the outcome of the game.
Pete: What are you saying about our owl, Mr. Whittaker?
Mr. Whittaker: The owl is a mascot, Pete. Mascots are meant to be a symbol of the team unity and encouragement. It reminds you to play your best to win, to be gracious if you lose, and that what you're doing on the court connects you with all the basketball players who came before you.
Ryan: It does all that?
Mr. Whittaker: Well, that's what it's supposed to do. It's a symbol that points to something else, something more important than itself. For example, a cross on a necklace can be a wonderful reminder of the sacrifice Jesus made for us. It's meant to point to Him. But what happens if people start worshiping that cross, or if they think by wearing it they'll have good luck or won't get hurt?
Ryan: They'll wind up pretty confused if they don't have good luck or if they get hurt.
Mr. Whittaker: That's right, because they put their faith in the symbol rather than what the symbol pointed to.
Pete: I get it. Some of us got so obsessed about the owl that we lost our focus on practicing hard and playing well as teammates. Like Ryan said.
Mr. Whittaker: Exactly. Like the good team captain he is, he tried to get the rest of you to understand that.
Pete: But we didn't. Okay, you were right, Ryan. We were all a bunch of boneheads. We'll do better next year.
Ryan: I'm sure you will. But I'd still like to know who the owlnapper was. It's not right they get away with this.
Mr. Whittaker: He won't.
Ryan: How do you know that?
Mr. Whittaker: Because I had a chat with one of the cafeteria staff.
Ryan: The note on my sandwich?
Mr. Whittaker: Right. The cafeteria worker thought it was a prank, but was pretty upset when he found out what was really going on.
Ryan: So who was the owlnapper?
Mr. Whittaker: You'll have to ask Coach Fey.
Coach Fey: Welcome, Vance, to the first of your 21 days of detention.
Vance: Look, Principal Vogler made me give back all the money. I don't know why I have to serve detention.
Principal Vogler: Consider yourself fortunate. The police take a dim view of theft and distortion.
Vance: You mean extortion?
Principal Vogler: Whatever. To begin with, you are going to scrub all of the lockers in the boys' locker room.
Vance: I thought I was intense. This is going to be a long detention.
Principal Vogler: Yes, it will be. Repeat after me: wax on, wax off.
Vance: You're kidding, right?
Principal Vogler: Seriously. Wax on, wax off.
Vance: Wax on, wax off. Wax on, wax off. Wax on, wax off. Wax on, wax off.
Chris: Well, time will tell if Vance has really learned his lesson. Somehow, I kind of doubt it. In the Old Testament book of Hosea, chapter 14, God's messenger proclaims that nothing made by man has the power to help anyone. Only God can. It's fun to have mascots and traditions, and school pride is a good thing. But when we start to think that certain traditions can really help us, we're in danger of replacing the true God with a false one. And that's a pretty silly thing to do, almost as silly as paying a ransom for a stuffed owl.
Guest (Owl Recording): Owly! Owly! Let's go, Odyssey!
Chris: I'd love to hear about your school sports and traditions and to find out what your school's mascot looks like. You can write to me at Adventures in Odyssey, Colorado Springs, Colorado, 80995. In Canada, that address is Box 9800, Vancouver, B.C., V6B 4G3, or visit our website at whitsend.org. Adventures in Odyssey is a presentation of Focus on the Family. "The Owlnapping" was written by Marshall Younger and Paul McCusker, with sound design by Jonathan Crow and music by John Campbell. Our cast included Adam Wylie, Robin Knight, and Matt Yank King. And I'm Chris, hoping you'll join us again next time for more Adventures in Odyssey.