Inspiration for men with Dan Seaborn of Winning at Home

Making Progress or Excuses

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Today, I want you to think about what you are working on in your life. It could be a project for your home. It may be a fitness goal you’re trying to reach, or maybe you’re trying to improve in some area of one of your relationships. Regardless of what it is, I suspect you are either making progress or making excuses.

I read that exact statement on a sign the other day, and as much as I tried to dismiss it as false, I found it to be true. It can happen when we deal with issues in our relationships. Are you working on something in your marriage? Maybe you’re trying to be a better listener. What steps are you taking to get there? I’m sure you could find a book to help you understand how to be a better listener. I know some counselors or coaches who could walk you through good communication skills. Have you tried anything like that? Or do you continue to make excuses for your behavior?

I think one of the biggest reasons we make excuses instead of progress in relationships is because we get discouraged if our spouse isn’t making the same kind of effort. It’s likely that if communication is a problem in your marriage, then both of you are to blame. Yet, maybe only one of you feels like you are making an effort. Your excuse is that you’re not going to try if they won’t try. By following this pattern of only moving forward if someone else does, the relationship remains stagnant. Nothing gets better.

I believe amazing things can happen if a person sets aside their pride, decides to stop making excuses, and is determined to make progress, regardless of their spouse’s response. I also believe that most of the time, the other person will eventually match that effort. Is it fair that way? No. But is fairness more important than results? Most of us know that life isn’t always fair, and we can’t change that, but we can change our situation. We can choose to do the work and make progress toward our goal, or we can wallow in what’s not fair and never see results.

That’s true no matter what we are trying to change or improve. Whether we’re talking about a relationship improvement or a personal improvement like weight loss or some kind of career change, it’s up to us to put forth the effort. You can’t always rely on or wait for others to join you or be supportive. You have to take the first step and keep moving forward until you reach your final goal. Don’t worry about how long it might take you. Just keep moving in the right direction. When you stop making excuses, you make progress and win at home.

 

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