Just When You Least Expect It

Audio By Carbonatix

I’d always wanted it. When I was a little boy, I tried everything I knew to get it. I’d walk a mile to pull off a little surprise for him. I’d comb my hair, sit up a little bit straighter, do anything I could think of to gain his approval. Partly out of fear, but partly because I’ve always wanted it. Not that it should have mattered. Through my teen years, my “wanting it” turned into “who cares.” If he didn’t want to do it, I didn’t give a rip. I would be fine. I tried to convince myself I didn’t need him. And I poured myself into anything I could find. Drawing…fishing…playing basketball—whatever!

Then, before I knew it, life seemed to scream quicker than an amusement park’s fastest coaster. Marriage and four children can change you a lot. I made sure I gave my children the it I never got. I have probably even overdone it. And then it happened to me.

About 15 years ago, I thought I’d make a quick call to check on my parents. That day also marks their wedding anniversary and dad’s birthday. A double whammy. Dad answered. We chatted about deer and weather and the normal things. Then as our phone call ended, without warning, HE SAID IT! I wasn’t prepared. I didn’t know what to do. I’d waited 48 years to hear him say it and all of a sudden it was right there in full view—I felt naked.

I said, “What’s that you said, Dad?” Almost as if I had misunderstood. He said it again. “Son, I want you to know I really love you.” For a moment I just held the phone. Then I muttered something back. I think I told him, “yeah, me too!” But I’m not sure. Then I did what I’d wanted to do all my life. I cried. I cried hard. A good cry. A healing cry. A love cry.

Then I called my wife and I told her and I cried some more. And I will never forget it. Who would have thought? Why that day? Why then? When I least expected it?

WHO CARES! Wow—he said it and that’s what matters. It was the best day ever! Dad has passed away since then, which makes that conversation even more meaningful.

I know I don’t travel this journey alone. Many people are waiting to hear these words from a parent or other family member. And some, I know, may never hear them. Let me encourage you to do what I’ve tried to do for many years. I do my best to show love and support to my children and others even though that behavior wasn’t modeled to me. I know this kind of response is healthy for me and my children, and it will hopefully translate into future generations winning at home.