Is It Time for Some Work?

Audio By Carbonatix

How is your infrastructure? In other words, the foundation of your life. How solid is it? What’s crumbling and what needs some repair? Living in Michigan, I’m very familiar with road work, because winter conditions are very hard on the roads. And when roads have issues, there are some times where the repairs that are needed are patches. You know what I’m talking about. The truck drives ahead of two workers who run out and drop shovelfuls of asphalt into the potholes and other cracks in the road.

I don’t know much about the logistics of road work or the decision-making process that takes place to choose when to patch and when to do a bigger project and fully replace. But I do know that the other option is the more intense one. That’s ripping out sections of the road (or the whole road) and replacing that area with all new material. Depending on where you are needing to go, the construction and inevitable detours can really cause some short-term headaches. The end result is a smooth, nice road to drive on. But the process of getting there isn’t always a pleasant one!

As you may have already guessed, I’m talking about “construction season” because I see that it has a parallel to our family lives. I spoke at an event recently and I talked with a couple afterwards. They shared that they planned to go home and allow their children the opportunity to point out some of the issues in their family that they don’t usually address. As you can imagine, they were mentally gearing themselves up to get feedback that was likely to include some things that they didn’t really want to hear.

My guess is that they went home and found out there were some family issues that just needed a quick patch. Some of the fixes were probably as simple as a change of phrasing or a change of tone. But there were probably some bigger issues too. Some that required more “construction” and involved apologies, tears, and work over an extended period of time. As daunting as some of those changes may be and as much as it might feel like the short-term effort and inconvenience might not be worth it, deep down, we all know that it is.

Despite what we know deep down, so many of us run away from those things. Honestly, we have good reason to be intimidated by the work that it will require to make positive change in our relationships. But even where it will take a lot of work, we know that the end result will be hugely positive and will have a lasting impact.

Today, I invite you to do your own personal inventory. Spend some time thinking about what your wife or your children or your grandchildren would say if you asked them about some of the family blind spots. And when you’re feeling ready, I would encourage you to take the next step and actually ask them for their feedback. Sure, you’ll probably hear about some things that need work and attention. But the only way to make these relationship repairs is if you’re aware of the need for them in the first place. That knowledge is initially painful, and the process of making changes can be hard, but the end result is a stronger and deeper relationship. And that’s worth the effort every single time. When you give it a try, I believe you’ll be winning more often at home.